by Bruce Harris

You all know what "wishful thinking" is. It's what you see in those "Wouldn't It Be Great" beer commercials where reality is magically transformed into what everyone wishes it could be – or, even better yet, should be.

Wouldn't it be great... if, when negotiating with a hotel, you knew what was included in the menu item labeled "cheese tray, $325"? A $325 tray of cheese should be incredibly large. Assuming that most of the cheeses on the tray are standard brands costing $3 to $5 a pound (plus a 100-percent markup), one might expect to get 25 to 30 pounds per tray. The reality, of course, is usually 6 to 8 pounds... or less!

The term "cheese tray" is non-descriptive. As is a "bowl" of nuts or chips. What size bowl? Of course, what should we expect from a hotel industry that can't agree if a "double" room is two beds, two people... or both?

Wouldn't it be great... if hotels could track single and double room pickup? It's relatively easy for corporations that provide rooming lists. But more associations use housing bureaus. Because there's no central control, many associations never know the exact number of singles, doubles and suites that they use.

Very few hotels are able (computer-wise) or willing (manpower-wise) to generate these reports each night. Incredible, you say? Prior to writing this month's article, I contacted major hotels representing five different chains and asked if they could price the exact number of singles, doubles and suites used by a group that checked out three days before:

One hotel said its computer could generate the information;
Three said they could only tell me the total number of rooms used; and
The fifth hotel said it could manually check its in-house list for each day...
and come "pretty close" to the actual numbers.

Consider the paradox: Every hotel needs to know this information in order to quote group rates. They require the information from you... but can't give it back after your group leaves the hotel. "Wouldn't it be great" if more planners expressed their frustration and hotels made the necessary software modification to make this information readily available?

Here's another paradox. Why is it that many hotels will not tell you how much food and beverage revenue is generated during your meeting by "ICWs" (events held "In Conjunction With" your meeting by sponsors, exhibitors or other groups)? These "ICWs" are very valuable to hotels. An association that can track substantial "ICW" revenue may rate additional concessions.

Hotels always say they want to know the hotel amount of a meeting's food and beverage revenue. Yet many will not produce "ICW" information unless it is a condition of the contract. Even then, there's often a reluctance to share the figures.

Wouldn't it be great... if every meeting manager who reads Convene would send a letter criticizing these policies to the president of the hotel chain they do the most business with?

First published in: Convene Magazine, March 1994